Revenge of In their Shoes - Soccer: Older. Slower. Beardier.
8/26/2009 12:00:00 AM | Men's Soccer
| After a two year hiatus, it was time to dust off the shame and pit my skills against Michigan's best. In 2007, I competed against an All-American softball pitcher, a slam dunk champion, a record-holding swimmer and a 6-5 volleyball player -- culminating in futile acts of self deprecation, failure and an appreciation for the excellence of Michigan's athletes. The first test of how badly my body had degraded in the interim was to learn what it takes to be a collegiate soccer player from a group of Michigan's own footballers - Junior Julian Robles, sophomore Alex Wood, sophomore Chris Blais and freshman Kofi Opare. The master of ceremonies was senior tri-captain Danny Gray, who orchestrated the drills, explained the rules and on a few occasions let me know, in those all too frequent instances when I needed to take a quick breather between play and interviews, it was okay to rest a minute. I renewed this experiment in participatory journalism wanting to look a little like Brazilian footballer Kaka and hoping like crazy not to play like poo poo. I have had that line chambered for three years. Sweet release. Retyi's scouting report: The only man on the team whose hands never sweat, Chris is unbeaten as a goal keeper in three appearances, earning a shutout in a start against Western Michigan last season. His meaty mitts and West Coast sensibilities make him a laid back vacuum in the nets. Yet another Academic All-Big Ten honoree, don't try the tricky stuff against him. It won't work. Trust me. Danny Gray, Outside Back Retyi's scouting report: The fifth-year senior captain was unable to physically participate in the challenge, but his leadership and organizational skills, setting up and executing drills, lived up to his nickname, The Senator from Setauket. The three-time Academic All-Big Ten honoree has 22 starts on his sheet and he's looking to go out in style in his senior season. Retyi's scouting report: The loquacious Canadian with the fireball leg is a good interview and packs a solid header. He's new to the team but fits right in with the rest of his mates. He has a knack for goal scoring and should age like an expensive French cheese in his four years in Ann Arbor. Retyi's scouting report: The savvy senior defender is quick and confident, displaying some of the fastest feet on the team and he makes very few mistakes. He patterns his game after Spanish defender, Carles Puyol, and is as content to push the pace as he is to stifle the opponent's best goal scorers. Retyi's scouting report: One of the taller Wolverines at 6-1, don't let his boyish mop of hair fool you. Alex is a cool headed dual-threat player, as adept at striking the ball with power and accuracy as he is agile off the touch. He is also an Academic All-Big Ten honoree, likely negating any advantage gained by my mastery at Trivial Pursuit. Retyi's scouting report: CLASSIFIED | Top Row (from left): Alex Wood, Chris Blais, Julian Robles, Kofi Opare Richard Retyi Danny Gray From left: Alex Wood, Chris Blais, Julian Robles, Kofi Opare |
The Michigan soccer challenge covered four major skill areas: goalkeeping, dribbling, shooting and headers. I performed somewhere between admirable, passable and embarrassing. What revealed itself as the most taxing skill of all turned out to be fitness.
At the end of an hour of a 3-2 ratio of play to Q&A, I was spent. My right knee throbbed (1), something was definitely amiss with my left shoulder (2) and I could taste my stomach lining (3).
The Michigan footballers were about as sweaty as me under the hot midday sun, but they never slowed, jogging far distances through tall grass to retrieve a handful of my errant kicks.
If you're looking for an early spoiler answering what it's like to be in the shoes of a collegiate soccer player, here it is: The biggest difference between these well-trained men and this former fifth-best nine year-old on the Welland Realty youth league team is fitness (4). It was all about the fitness.
1. I live life with a torn ACL in my right knee. Thanks fleeting glory of being a serviceable football player in a Southern Ontario high school!
2. Skip ahead to the goaltending for this fresh trauma.
3. Plus the three cups of coffee I drank before lacing up!
4. The top four players were, in no particular order, Damian LaPlante, Dean Smith, Chris Lessard and Emilio Martinez.
Check back tomorrow for part two of "Revenge of In Their Shoes - Soccer" where Rich tries to keep pace with the Wolverines in the areas of goaltending, shooting, dribbling and headers. There are plenty of photos.
